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Posted by on Sep 7, 2015 in News | 0 comments

10 Of The Best Sexy Geek Toys

sextoy_nerd_FEA

These are 10 of the best sexy geek toys every filthy nerd is going to want to try.

Written By

Baxter Reynolds

Having worked as Head Curator of exhibitions at many prestigious art galleries around the country, Reynolds is no stranger to fine art. Reynolds now works as a freelance curator for Filthy Gorgeous Media, allowing him to pursue his own personal love of erotic photography.

Not so long, long ago in a bedroom that happened to be not far, far away, some geeks are getting busy. It’s a common misconception that geeks don’t have sex. On the contrary. Geeks are getting their nerd on, having more sex, and weirder sex than you’re having. As the song goes, geeks have rich fantasy lives, and even the smallest taste for science fiction and other things in the realm of the dorks tends to broaden the horizons. Think about dating a superhero. There would be plenty of benefits; the housework they could do, the speed-of-light lifts to work when you’ve overslept, and don’t get us started on the sex. But sadly, it’s unlikely that Clark Kent is going to show up on your Tinder, Wolverine isn’t on any online dating sites, and Wonder Woman is taking care of herself in her Invisible Jet somewhere. In situations like this, or when you’re looking to spice up you date with that sexy person from the comic book store, you can get your geek on, and get off with these geeky Filthy Gorgeous approved sex toys. Lucky for you, they’ve arrived just in time to save you from boring bedroom play. Human genitals are like LEGOs; they’re a lot of fun to put together, and if you get bored with all the possible combinations, you can buy extra bits to throw into the mix. Add these 10 best sexy geek toys designed for both men and women for endless nerdcore fun.

thor

Thor Thundering God Dildo

Mjölnir, the hammer of Thor, is capable of leveling mountains. As much as I’d love for Chris Hemsworth to sneak into my bedroom in the middle of the night and smack me around with Thor’s mighty hammer, I’m not really holding my breath! But now you can behold the treasures form a far off planet with his thundering hammer in dildo form. The Hammer is here to banish bedroom boredom and make you rumble with pleasure! The only thing that’s missing is my powers to summon it. “Thor Hammer!” *dildo flies across the room into outstretched hand.* A girl can dream.

mushroom

Mario Mushroom Sex Toy

Mario was a big part of just about everyone’s childhood, but get ready to have all that shattered. Sex toys are about as prevalent as coins in the Mushroom Kingdom. You can protect your kingdom while powering up with this Mario style mushroom sex toy for men. Why would you need a peachy princess when you can rescue yourself instead? Explore the inside of the Kingdom, bash Koopas, and travel down this magical pipe into 8 bit satisfaction.

iron-man

Iron Man Stacked Stark Dildo

Lay back and let a superhero save the day. Ladies’ man? Check. Genius? Check. Does Iron man have it all? Check. You don’t have to be a brilliant billionaire playboy or a super genius engineer to see how amazing this dildo is! An especially formidable choice, you can take this sexy super hero to bed tonight. Inspired by the ever-hard Iron Man, it stimulates your inner pleasure zones with every movement and is always ready to send you soaring off to your next adventure. While Iron Man is simply fiction, this rock hard gold lover is here to satisfy you in the flesh. This subtle, futuristic robotic toy is designed with climax-inducing armor, a thick, rounded helmet that stretches your options wide open, a straight gleaming golden shaft is textured with rippling abs, and a G-Spot stimulating “love button” is the perfect thing to finish you off!

superboy-z

Dragonball Super Saiyan Girth Ring

Oh No! She’s satisfied now but you aren’t. To make matters worse, your energy is decreasing with every blow. In fact, you’re not even a challenge anymore. It wouldn’t be fair to continue fighting your failure. You have challenged and lost to a fighter who is superior to you, and to make it worse, your opponent has already won. It would be meaningless to fight now; you’re too scared and ashamed. Goku, the hero of Dragon Ball Z, is the most powerful warrior on earth! But even he needs some help sometimes and since bigger is better he comes prepared with the Dragon Ball Z’s Girth Ring! Be as strong and big as Super Saiyan Goku with this super stretchy and comfortable girth ring…sized just right!

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batman

Batman Caped Cock Dildo

BOOM! POW! Holy orgasms! Holy orgasms? What about ‘Holy Dildos Batman!’ GoodHead City, I mean, Gotham City needs a hero and Bruce Wang, I mean, Bruce Wayne, I mean, Batman is just the man for the job. You’ll thrill to the unconventional look and Caped Crusader-esque style of this sleekly geometric black dildo. The Caped Cock has sexy textured 3-D bat detailing on both sides of its sleek black shaft and an uncut head resembling an uncircumcised penis. Even though this is the dildo Gotham deserves, it’s not the one it needs right now. So we’ll tuck him away. Because the city can’t take it. Because he’s not their dildo. He’s a silent penetrator, a watchful voyeur. Whatever this Caped Cock is, I’ve got a cave for that Batman. I just wished this Batman dildo came with a robin butt plug.

captain-america

Captain America’s Cock

Proof that top-secret research works. Captain Cock is a 9.5″ patriotic powerhouse with a 2″ width here to free inhibition and liberate your sexuality. This patriotic package takes the shape of a smooth missile that becomes an upstanding political figure of a dildo that will fight fiercely for your right to unique stimulation pleasures. Fantastically stylized, like all the marvelous Heroes from Doc Johnson’s Super Hung league, Captain Cock, with his perfect specimen of a shaft and wide, safe, harness compatible base all set to avenge unimpressive toy collections everywhere, saving playmates and solo pleasure seekers from bedroom boredom in the very nick of time.

spiderman

Spiderman Web Shooter Dildo

Look Out! Here comes the Spider cock! A Spider-Man action figure and a dildo used to hang over a power line at the corner of Bedford Avenue and North 6th Street in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Sadly in 2014, it was removed. If you feel that your Spidey dildo needs are being unmet, meet the Amazing Web Shooter. Peter Pecker may seem like your average young man but he has a secret that sets him apart from the rest. Have you ever wondered what Peter was REALLY packing under that tight red suit, we have you answer! As every super hero knows “with great power cums great responsibility.” Webbed for her pleasure, the amazing web-textured curvaceous Web Shooter will make super hero fans scream his name. When Peter’s not using his special powers to help protect his city from evil, he’s wrapping you up in his sticky web of love.

avatar

Avatar Primal Desires Fleshlight

Na’vi enthusiasts will love the ultimate E.T sexual adventure.  If you’re like the many people that have since the premiere of James Cameron’s Avatar wondered how you could fuck a blue cat person, I have some good news for you. You can explore your primal alien desires, and go where no manhood has gone before with the Primal Desires Fleshlight. Do you want to have sex with Neytiri so badly but lament the fact that your sorry ass is stuck on earth, a million light years away? What took light-years to arrive is now ready to be abducted in your deepest of spaces. So take a journey into an interstellar vortex of pleasure. The Avatar Fleshlight is combination of three well known fleshlight sleeves. First you slip inside into wormhole of slick twists through the Vortex to an already unforgettable feeling. Going deeper you’ll find the Lotus inverted Node. You will experience the feeling of brushing your soldier. The last step of Avatar Fleshlight is the final encounter, taking you to the land of STU (Stamina Training Unit) bumps.

zombie

Zombie Flesh Dildo

Nothing says “I love you” like the junk of the undead. Have a necromantic night in the degrading skin or question yourself with the lifeless, yet vibrant deteriorating penis of the living dead with the grave rising Zombie Dildo. Zombies want your brains, and the only way to get them is to rough them out of you! If you find yourself drawn to the walking dead, fucking your brains out may not be the best idea, but how could you resist? The creatures of the walking dead are in dire hunger, and you can stay safe while satisfying a horror fetish with this “life like” zombie flesh dildo. Become your inner zombie and enjoy the long insertable length and thicker heavy texturing with attention to every vein and rip that will have you screaming for more…in a good way. Finally, a zombie cock that won’t rot and fall off. Come on baby, I want your living deadness all up in me!

hulk

Incredible Smash Hulk Dildo

Hulk Smash! I’d let The Incredible Hulk smash me all night long! Have you ever wondered what the Hulk was really packing under those perfectly tattered pants? When freak accidents happen, freak results occur. After a lab experiment gone sexy, Dr. Bruce Banner transformed into a big green monster cock known as Dr. Bruce Boner, The Incredible Hunk. This superhero is super hung! Mr. Hulk has an exceptionally shaped head small enough for to ease yourself onto this incredible 8.2″ girth beast. This is one lab experiment reserved for experienced fan girls and boys. Large veins run down around the cock creating orgasmic texture the large balls protect the enthusiast as they bottom out the green beast. If you’re looking for some hulka-hulka burnin’ love, this Hulk will Smash your hot spots again and again. Plus, with the flared ball base this big green monster is safe for anal play, even when you’re all alone.

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