Filthy Countdown: 5 Turnoffs For Women
Leaving the toilet seat up isn’t the only problem for women so be aware of all five turn offs.
My intentions when starting this piece were NOT to man-bash, but rather to inform the male public of what absolutely to avoid when starting a sexual relationship. However, after reaching out to my social network of foul-mouthed and raunchy gal pals for insight, I was left with compilation of complaints that would have any person in their right mind either gagging or pissing their pants with laughter! Don’t worry dudes, I see a similar list for women in the very near future. I got you.
5. Long fingernails
There are very few acceptable reasons as to why a man may have long fingernails and those are: a professional cocaine scooper, envelope opener, or a straight up pimp. Other than that, I see no satisfactory motive for the extra length. Not only are you putting us women at risk for internal injury but how about the filth and bacteria that most likely lives under there. I am willing to bet if you’re too lazy to cut your nails, you’re too lazy to wash your hands.
4. Bad breath
Oh man, this has happened to me more than I’d like to admit. The guy that looks good from afar, like a sexy underwear model, but smells worse than shit up close. Like did you literally just pick up a piece of shit and start chewing on it? Brush your teeth fellas and floss while you’re at it and is it really that hard to bring along some gum or mints? Smarten up.
3. Body odor
Listen, I love a rugged dude as much as the next chick, but when that grungy bad boy exterior is accompanied by the worst case of BO, my internal lady boner quickly dies. Women will immediately think, “If his armpits smell that bad what must his ass smell like?” Oh my god, I just threw up a little bit. Same rules apply as above. Wash your pits and ass, use deodorant, and splash on a little cologne for good measure.
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2. Rough hands
Unless your chick is made out of wood, like Pinocchia, what woman in their right mind wants two pieces of sandpaper feeling her up? I know rough hands are sometimes unavoidable due to certain jobs, but that doesn’t mean you can’t invest in a good lotion, a pair of gloves, and maybe even a manicure now and then.
1. Body Hair
Unless you live in Alaska and need to wear a sweater 365 days a year, shave your back! A little hair upfront isn’t all that bad, but keep in trimmed and in shape and not bulging from your v-neck. I mean seriously do you go home and comb your chest out for dropped food and wind struck flies? And of course, don’t forget to keep your pubes in check. If your bush poses any risk of a woman choking, gagging, or picking a piece out of her teeth, then you need to handle that situation real quick. Manscape my dudes, it’s really not that hard.