In Defense Of Cheaters
In a culture full of monogamy, there are some that defend cheating spouses.
The sexual culture in the United States of America, and I would guess other parts of the world that are under the influence of Christianity, is hypocritical at best and anti-nature and destructive at worst. This is true of most sexual practices. What we can not wrap our minds around however, is that when something transpires between two consenting adults, then anything, and let me repeat anything, should go. In my opinion, the ultimate taboo when it comes to sex among consenting adults, is that there are no taboos beyond the hang ups that one has in their own mind.
I’m talking about cheaters, or people who have sex with other people outside of their significant relationship. To the best of my knowledge, the Holy Bible only lists one sexual practice a greater sin than adultery and that is masturbation. No less, adultery, cheating, and thinking outside the box (pun intended) is still right up there at the top of sexual no-no’s. It has brought more than one powerful figure to his knees. In part this is because of the ways that we feel we must link sex and love. This is really where the mistake begins. The fact of the matter is that sex and love are indeed two separate things. To think otherwise is to confuse oneself. Any two people with a functioning set of genitals can fuck, have sex, bump uglies, or procreate however you wish to term it.
Likewise, there have been many loving bonds (hopefully beginning with one’s parents and extending to close friendships) where sex has never and will never take place. It is false to say that rubbing genitalia together is “making love”. Chances are the love is already there. The sex is simply to satisfy the lust. No more, no less. However, the society that most live in do not see this honest reality. Instead, sex, for lack of better term is considered Holy, the ultimate act of love, and that is why people go nuts when their significant others have sex with anyone else.
Most cultures demonize the cheaters while the significant others get to rejoice in their victim status. Cheaters are people to be looked down on and despised, our culture says. After all, they should have morals, respect their partners, and on and on. By the same token, the ones who get cheated on are almost always considered virtuous by nature. After all, by doing nothing, they were doing the “right” thing. Their abstinence is their virtue.
However, should we not give the Devil his due?
Nymphomaniac Gets Her Fill
The old hookers used to say that if more women would learn to satisfy their men that they would be out of business. This is a painful fact for most women to accept. No less just because something is painful, it does not take away the truth of the matter, although I would not only extend this sentiment to women. There are plenty of men that do not satisfy or for that matter, like their frigid female counterparts, try to satisfy their significant others. The bottom line is that if you will not satisfy your mate’s urges, there is always someone out there that will. If you are too good for certain sex acts, there are always those who don’t mind getting dirty. So why should you begrudge them? An individual’s morals are his or her own… that does not mean that everyone else has to conform to those same morals.
Let us talk about victims here. If someone rapes someone, there is no question that the rapist is imposing his/her will on an individual who does not want to take part in the sex act in question. Another form of imposing the will could exist in domestic relationships. For someone who has a very high sex drive and his or her partner does not… it would be imposing the will to constantly demand that the partner meet every expectation. It would further be wrong to belittle the partner who did not do this. Both of these examples have every right to classify themselves as victims and accept the benefits that go along with that status.
On the other hand, take the spouse or significant other with the extremely low sex drive. Let us say that he or she has virtually no interest in sex and really does nothing to try to please their partners desires, no matter how much communication exists. Yet, this person expects their partner with a normal or higher sex drive, to simply accept this and still stay faithful at all times. Is this not a form of rape? Is this not imposing one person’s will upon another? Yet, dare that the deprived partner could ever voice this and have victim benefits!
Now let us look at the whole relationship. If a person is involved in a domestic relationship and everything but the sex is good…what sense would it make to toss the relationship? One could enter into a sexually satisfying relationship where nothing else was compatible. So here we are back at the beginning: sex and love are not the same things. The answer in this situation is of course, that people should without moral hangup be able to satisfy their sexual desires outside the relationship with no guilt whatsoever.
As for defense of cheaters, let us consider what we have just discussed. While cheaters have been considered the bad guys and girls for years… is it not more realistic to look at them in a more sympathetic light? Dare I say a more honest light. Chances are, cheaters cheat for a reason. Could it not be the “virtuous” abstinent partners that put them there to begin with?
In conclusion, I would say that it is the abstinent partner who is the true sadist. The cruel one. The cheater, I feel is an abused person who is simply trying to satisfy a natural desire. So in defense of the cheaters that exist, if their frigid partners would warm up a bit.. maybe we could satisfy this moral dilemma.