Mistress Gennifer Shares Tips On How To Enjoy Sex More
A reader writes to Mistress Gennifer to ask for tips on how to enjoy sex more.
Dear Mistress Gennifer,
Let’s just say my private is no longer standing at full attention anymore. My wife and I have been married for 16 years and even though I love her more than the world, I have recently started to feel apathetic towards our relationship, especially when it comes to sex. But I’m not sure if it is just me. I once decided to see how long I could go without sex before my wife made a comment about it and a year went by and she never said anything. Not once! She never gave any indication that something was wrong. After the year was over, I finally said something about me being apathetic about our sex life, but she just said that is what happens when you’re married to someone for this long. That was five years ago. Since then, she has tried planning getaways, but I can’t seem to express any interest in going away on a romantic trip. She has suggested massage oils, sex toys, and even Viagra, but I haven’t committed to any of them. I feel like I want to have sex, but once we start getting intimate, I never get fully turned on. I need advice. How come I feel apathetic sometimes about sex but still want to have it all of the time?
-James; Portland, Oregon
Listen to Mistress Gennifer on this one James. Most grown women don’t walk around feeling randy 24/7. Men on the other hand, are supposed to be thinking about sex all day, every day! Although I would normally suggest some type of aphrodisiac or Viagra, I know there is a deeper underlying matter in this situation. So, when you are feeling apathetic about sex, try stripping down to nothing and just lying together, pressing your bodies against one another. The proximity and skin-on-skin contact release pheromones that trigger desire. More often than not, a few minutes of neck-nuzzling will flip your switch. If not – no worries – just keep trying. There is a reason you are feeling apathetic, so maybe you need to seek more professional help. Couples’ therapy is a great way to start the process. You might have become too comfortable with your wife to find her sexually attractive anymore, but there are ways to work around this.
The kind of relationship you have depends on how much effort you are willing to put into it. The journey may be bumpy, but if both of you are willing to work together, you can get past them, especially when it comes to making love. Marriage is showing that person that you fell in love with that you will love them forever. It’s scary to think of love being so fragile but in a time of commonplace divorce and single, independent women and men live their lives happily, having full families and adventures all without a partner, one can’t help but to think that this love thing might all be doomed and run at the first sign of trouble. But the first step to a beautiful marriage is working with your partner, not against them, when things don’t go the way one or the other or either of you wanted. When a light bulb breaks, you do not go out and buy a new house. You replace the light bulb. Marriage is the same way. One of the biggest marks of successful marriages is couples who work together in a cooperative and loving, even when the light bulb in question is a major marital problem.
But screw the light bulb analogy. Nobody writes to Mistress Gennifer to hear advice that they could get out of a magazine. You two are fully functional adults, and are capable of communication. Just because it hasn’t worked before, doesn’t mean it never will. Some people get stuck in a rut and they get used to just saying “no” instead of going for it. Try channeling the man you were when you first met your wife. Were you happier back then? Were you not worrying about money, bills, or the kids you have now? These stressors may have taken a toll on you and are just starting to set in. You need to relax and focus on the moment when you are trying to be intimate with your wife. Don’t just pop the little blue pill and hope it goes away on its own! My thoughts go out to you and your wife! Hopefully you will get back to banging like bunnies soon!
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