Should Anal Sex Be Discussed In Sex Ed?
While many wonder about anal sex, few learn how to be safe while having it during sex ed.
Chances are, you remember the first time you learned about the “birds and the bees.” It could have been taught to you by an older sibling, a kid on the school bus or even a book you accidentally found under your parents bed; but whatever you heard, you have kept with you all these years. The concept, especially when heard about at a young age, is a tad daunting and the questions can be endless. In the olden days, sex education consisted of a movie shown to boys and girls separately. There was a brief discussion about the differences between the male and female body. A mind numbing and humiliating explanation of the menstrual cycle and the inevitable “wet dream” conversation usually resulted in giggling and eye-rolling.
The movie that was shown was typically sperm swimming towards an egg and then the teacher would explain how that process created a baby. Very informative. As the years went on, the class might include how to put a condom on a banana, just in case the banana was thinking of having sex and we would not want it to get anyone pregnant. I think this is one of the reasons why I decided to become a sex therapist. I was tired of people being uneducated and misinformed on the most basic act performed by adults (and, in more cases than not, young adults.)
It is not only an act that is the “maker of life” but it is an exercise in intimacy and human nature. It brings people together and also has the power to tear people apart. But when sex is used correctly, between two consenting adults, there is nothing better. I have always felt that it is important to teach kids in an honest and open environment, where no question should go unanswered, even if it needs to be done privately and no topic should be taboo. Communication is key to a healthy appreciation of sexual behavior.
Butt Plug Or No Butt Plug?
Sex education is a tricky subject. There are so many different opinions on how it should be taught, on what should be taught and on who should be doing the teaching. Some parents feel that they are the ones responsible to educate their children on what the definition of “sex” is; that way, they can limit their knowledge, especially if their own knowledge on the subject is limited. Others feel that since children spend so much time in school that the school should be responsible for instructing their children.
There are problems with both schools of thought. Parents like to shelter their kids and the schools are afraid to teach too much in order not to anger the parents. For example, part of the curriculum in some schools has been to hand out condoms; While doing this is a way to keep kids safe, many parents have been opposed to it for fear that it encourages sexual activity. This leads to parental outrage which can then lead to a protest in front of the school. Not a pleasant situation.
Now that being gay has become a part of the everyday vernacular, gay teens, thankfully, also have a voice and no longer have to hide. The questions they have are just as valid and even more important because the way that they have been taught about sex in the past, had even further isolated them. What works for a man and a woman cannot physiologically work for two men, or for two women for that matter. I think it is very important that they teach anal sex to the students, especially since that is the most intimate way that homosexuals express their physical love for eachother.
Heterosexuals also feel that anal sex being added to their repertoire can make the relationship more exciting, but it is important to learn about the physical challenges as well. Positioning is different, lubrication needs are different and just because you are using a different entrance to the body, there is still a risk of contracting diseases and the proper protection needs to be used. See, Mr. Banana can come in handy after all!
Anal sex education is just as important if not more so because it hasn’t always been considered “the norm.” Pornographic movies always make it seen and easy and that isn’t always the case. When educating teens, gay or straight, it is important they know that they are in a safe space and that no question is too embarrassing to ask.
The schools need to set up a system where the kids are made comfortable to have the discussions they need so they are properly informed and no one gets hurt-physically or emotionally. Most sex therapists are trained to help with these situations as well and should be vetted properly before consulting them. Good luck and remember-safe sex is the best sex!