Texas Students Use Dildos To Make The Most Powerful Protest Ever
It looks like someone just brought a dildo to a gunfight. We all love sex that ends with a bang, but just like there’s a time and a place for your man to whip out his penis, there’s a time and a place for him to wield a deadly firearm. Turns out, the proper time probably isn’t during a lecture and the place definitely shouldn’t be a classroom. In all seriousness, let’s discuss the absurdity of allowing concealed-carry weapons on a university campus while also having a law on the books that prohibits sex toys in classrooms.
The protest, #CocksNotGlocks, comes in the wake of the mass shooting at Umpqua Community College near Roseburg, Oregon that killed 9 people—8 students and 1 professor—and injured 9 more on October 1, 2015. Two additional mass shootings followed eight days later on October 9, 2015, at Northern Arizona University and Texas Southern University in Houston.
Earlier this year, on June 1, 2015 Republican Governor Greg Abbott of Texas signed a bill into law that allows people with conceal-carry permits to bring their guns to university campuses. The law goes into effect on August 1, 2016. The dildo-brandishing protest is set to take place on the first day of classes after, on August 24, 2016. As of October 15, 2015, over 9,000 people have RSVP’d yes on Facebook to attending the event—titled Campus (DILDO) Carry—while almost another 2,000 are listed as ‘maybe attending.’
24-year-old creator, Jessica Jin, a recent alumna of the University of Texas in Austin, is tired of the hypocrisy. Jin said she came up with the idea for the event while in traffic, listening to the radio and reflecting on the recent mass shootings. For the average civilian, the lack of adequate response to safety is nothing short of frustrating. That there are still people willing to make excuses about why guns in public settings are necessary and why gun control would abolish our second amendment right, despite the influx of violence, is scary. “Man, these people are such dildos,” Jin is reported as concluding, and it was then that the genius protest was born, and further incited into action once Jin realized that UTexas actually has a clause against sexual expression in their rules. The Facebook page for the protest reads, “The State of Texas has decided that it is not at all obnoxious to allow deadly concealed weapons in classrooms, however it DOES have strict rules about free sexual expression, to protect your innocence. You would receive a citation for taking a DILDO to class before you would get in trouble for taking a gun to class.”
Dildo Wars NYC #FreeTheDildo
While shooting a load off in the middle of a lecture about bonobos is probably an awkward experience for everyone, there is something inherently and frighteningly bizarre about a state that is more concerned about protecting someone’s delicate sensibilities and innocence rather than their physical bodies. We live in a time where Planned Parenthood, an organization that helps to educate people about sex and STD’s while preventing hundreds of thousands of unwanted pregnancies a year, is constantly under attack by both the federal and state governments. Meanwhile, men in suits have no qualms about the fact that the U.S has an increasing trend of gun of violence. According to the Gun Violence Archive, 10,411 people have died in over 41,274 incidents in the U.S. as of October 15, 2015. There have been 271 mass shootings. The number of gun homicides in this country is 6 times the number in Canada, 7 times the amount in Sweden, and 16 times the amount in Germany. The likely culprit behind why is quite simply the amount of privately owned guns.
Now, despite a penchant for deviant behavior, I’m not actually a criminal. Still, it seems to me that the argument against gun control legislation that “criminals don’t acquire guns legally” is weak. Back in 2012, when Adam Lanza went to shoot up Sandy Hook elementary school, the guns he acquired were from his mother, a gun enthusiast who owned at least a dozen firearms.
More recently, it was discovered that Oregon shooter Christopher Sean Harper-Mercer lived with his mother and had 14 legally purchased weapons in the home. Criminals may not be the legal owners of these guns, but the mere proximity of them and easy access seems enough to produce deadly results.
Alternatively, let’s talk about dildos. Jin said she chose dildos for her protest because the phallic sex toys are plain funny. Dildos, and their cousin the vibrator, come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and types. Some are veiny, some are long, some are flesh-colored, and some are even Spider-Man themed. Dildos are a must-have toy for masturbation because, well, they’re one of the quickest ways to get off. Masturbation, in complete contrast to guns, has proven health benefits. It is beneficial for the mental and physical health of individuals because it creates a sense of well-being, and that confidence is extended to enhance sex with partners. Improved sleep, reduced stress, and menstrual cramp relief are all side-effects of the beauty of self-love. Jin also says of the dildo-use, “It spotlights the masturbatory nature of the power which people derive from gun ownership, and the self-aggrandizing ‘I’m one of the good ones, I’ll protect you’ arguments we’re so often expected to simply trust.”
The phallic nature of both guns and dildos cannot be dismissed—they’re both so obviously shaped like penises. Both have the power to masculate or emasculate at a moment’s notice. This protest provides interesting and social commentary on the current values of the country, while also providing much-needed comic relief. Women are still asked what they were wearing in rape trials. Young girls are often sent home from school because what they’re wearing is deemed a distraction to boys in the classroom, and no one thinks anything of the fact that their education should be just as important. Yet we’re allowing people to carry guns around campuses in the belief that everyone has a superhero inside of them waiting to burst out and protect against some faceless villain. Why is sex so often condemned, but violence is deemed perfectly acceptable? At what point will we realize the hippies of the 60’s had it right and we should just give peace a chance? If we continue on this way, the historical narrative will right itself, and it won’t be pretty. Still, for the time being, it’s impossible not to find the desperate hilarity in all of this. Another gem-quote from Jin reads, “I need this proliferation of dildos to offer people a visual representation of what it would be like if we all carried guns. It would look ridiculous to you. That’s the point.” Ironically, Jin has received online death threats as a result of her protest. Yes, there’s nothing short of hilarious about all of this.
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