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Posted by on Jul 31, 2015 in News | 0 comments

The New Movement #FreeTheDildo Spawned From NYC Dildo Wars Cancellation

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It’s time to #freethedildo and make Dildo Wars a reality.

Thousands of disappointed dildo enthusiasts found out that the upcoming Dildo Wars, a benefit to promote HIV and STD awareness scheduled for Saturday, August 1st, has been cancelled by DeBlasio and his cronies in New York City Hall. Eccentric event promoter, Alex Xander, touted the event as the largest dildo fight in history. Each fighter was to receive a complimentary fighting dildo and prepare for complete and utter mayhem. Of course, unlimited free condoms were to be provided at this love-fest. The Teacher Preacher himself was signed up, ready to battle for undying glory and honor. I thought this would be an incredible event, promoting both condom and dildo use in the interests of public health. Why was the event cancelled, you ask? Too many people signed up.

According to Xander’s official Facebook event page, more than 5000 people felt inclined to RSVP for this event. That’s over a mile worth of rubber cock! The city issued a cease and desist, fearing for public safety at the thought of a full legion of dildo swinging warriors. Weak minded cowards with no stomach for battle! This could have been addressed with a simple change of venue. Plenty of room in Central Park. All of those nice people have been deprived of their chance to literally fight against AIDS. Is the Mayor’s office for AIDS? I certainly hope not! Regardless, their decision has stifled an event with amazing potential to raise awareness for this incredibly important issue.

NYC Dildo Wars Cancellation Inspires #FreeTheDildo

What will Xander do with all of those pre-ordered dildos? Will they find good homes? Will all of that rubber find its way to the garbage barges, only to end up accidentally sodomizing innocent wildlife? Nice move, Mr Mayor. Instead of fighting AIDS, those dildos could become the agents of unspeakable trauma for dolphins and whales. Or, is there something even more insidious at play? Is this a blatant prejudice against honest dildo wielding Americans? Are they saying that if you hold a giant rubber prick in your hand, you have nothing to contribute to society? There is no room for such hatred in this administration. Xander had a dream… to bring a lot of people together to bludgeon each other with rubber penises. It was a dream he obviously shared with many!

Prepare For Battle

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Buy LELO INA 2 PURPLE

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Buy SMART WAND LARGE – PLUM

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Buy SIAM CIRCUS LELO HULA BEADS VIBRATING ROTATING BEN WA PLEASURE KEGEL BALLS WATERPROOF BLUE

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Buy AMBER BANANA G SPOT GLASS DILDO WITH STORAGE BAG, 5.5 INCH

The Teacher Preacher thinks this sort of tyranny should not stand! For this reason, I am asking everyone to tweet at DeBlasio and New York Parks and Recreation and demand that they #freethedildo ! We demand a rescheduled dildo war in a larger venue. We will let this demand be known. Let us show DeBlasio and his dildo haters that we who swing the rubber cookie crushers will not be silenced!

The post The New Movement #FreeTheDildo Spawned From NYC Dildo Wars Cancellation appeared first on Filthy Gorgeous Media.

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