What Constitutes Kosher Lingerie?
Even is she isn’t Jewish, her lingerie can still be Kosher.
When you hear the word kosher, it is usually followed by the words meat, chicken or fish. You visualize a long bearded man, wearing a black hat, preferably a rabbi, saying a blessing on some poor unsuspecting animal before they meet their holy demise. When you hear the word lingerie, you are not thinking of meat, chicken or fish, unless that is your thing. You are not thinking of a long bearded rabbi, unless that is your thing. You are usually thinking of taking it off of someone and then putting something inside someone. So what constitutes kosher lingerie?
I suspect that if the girl you are currently eating out is Jewish, her lingerie might actually be kosher. A little more modest than you are used to, but sexy enough to want to find out if she actually tastes like a matza ball. And while on the subject of balls, if you have Jewish ones, she might want to impress you with her demureness and work her way up to a total erotic fashion show. Jewish girls don’t like giving it up so easily.
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You would think that kosher lingerie would be synonymous with granny panties, or in this case, bubbie panties. Walk into any Target or Walgreens and you can buy a six pack in all the colors of the rainbow. Those are the comfortable cotton waist-high panties that women enjoy wearing when then don’t think they are getting laid, when they have been married for more than a year, when they are due for a wax or when they are having a visit from Aunt Flo. And trust me they do enjoy wearing them when they aren’t trying to impress you with their whore-like ensembles.
These panties are the very religious right wing cousin of the thong. In fact, rumor has it, that the thong came to be when a repressed girl from Boro Park decided she had enough of her kosher panties and wanted something a bit less religious and narrow minded. She took a pair of scissors and viola..cue the thong th thong thongthong song.
Victoria’s Secret is that she is a convert. That store surprisingly sells some kosher lingerie. Those would be the bras and panties that still cause hard-ons, but only because there is still something left to the imagination. The outfits that are entirely transparent are the number one cause of premature ejaculations. These are not under the supervision of any long bearded rabbis.If you want actual kosher lingerie, perhaps you should be buying the edible kind. Apparently, they are quite tasty….